69. COVID-19 Self-Isolation Day X plus tooooo many

I hope this isn’t going to turn into a blog about depression, because that would be just depressing. And I already did a depression blog - that’s so yesterday. Nonetheless, day 24 of self-isolation and I fear my apathy and lethargy (in light of and despite pressing work deadlines), combined with my incredible desire to sleep, all the time, might be depression. Okay, time to up the meds.

I realize I blog when I am down, because it helps.

But the good news is self-isolation (due to a plague of dead people - can plague be a verb, I wonder?) is not all bad. After the first flurry of social media “connecting” with my friends, it is getting easier to spend time alone, which I can confirm is my preference. My friends, they are work. I am rested (yet tired), and the break from trying to manage them, dodge them, space them out, is restful.

Even being at home all the time there are weird moments. We celebrated my son’s birthday, I made a cake for the first time in about 20 years (GREAT cake with peanut butter icing), and (the weird part), I had to decide whether I needed to save the birthday candles. Will we still be quarantined by the next birthday in September? Either way, will candles be available (what will my fellow citizens decide to hoard? candles? perhaps)?

I wish I could go to the garden store to buy a plant for my planter. Finally I have time to tend to it and watch it grow. But garden stores were legislated to shut down before I made it there. Weird. I won’t take it personally.

Our Premier (Ford) continues to be an alarming disappointment every time he opens his mouth. Which he is now compelled to do several times a day. Under the guise of ‘transparency’ he is oversharing, including poking the Americans in the eye, publicly, when they are the ones who have to power to release millions of protective masks to us, and thanks to him, he has made it harder as they now have to find a way to do it AND save face. Another politician whose stupidity will cost lives.

Yet apparently people love him, because he took a drive and had a photo op delivering masks to a hospital. Really? He rolled up his sleeves for the camera and we are impressed. God God Canadians are so gullible. So unsophisticated.

My goodness, I am in quite a right state. Meds and booze. Meds and booze.

68. COVID-19 self-isolation Day x

It does not matter how many days I have been in self isolation. Because when I hit the magical day 14, nothing changed. Just because I am COVID-19 free does not mean that I can leave the apartment or talk to anybody or do my usual routine. But it was a good distraction, and I can proudly say that I still have the skills to count up to 14.

Less than a month ago, my fellow Ottawa citizens were out for blood; and I mean literally out for blood, because our brand new light rail system was constantly busted.

And today?

Nobody remembers. Nobody knows. Nobody cares. The trains are running empty because we are all self-isolating. The problem is no longer the train’s ability to stay on the track and run on time, the problem is with the person sitting next to you who might cough and kill you.

On that happy thought, good night.

67. cOVID-19 Self-isolation day 14 - Silent killings

Trapped at home. City shut down in panic and fear. We have no experience of this. I keep referencing back to my history lessons of the world wars, because that is when people were stuck inside afraid, that’s when there were food shortages, that’s when businesses collapsed, that’s when highfaluting designers went from making highfaluting designs to essentials. In this case hospital masks.

I imagine during the world wars people judged the state of affairs by the sirens and the number of times they had to take shelter and the number of instances in which they were subject to sounds of bombings.

This is different. We are judging progress in the same way, by the death toll. But we don’t see it. We don’t hear it. We wake up in the middle of the night and check our news apps. We look at the graphic that shows the curve. Which has the number dead that shows up on the screen.

most of the dead are our grandmas and grandpas.

66. COVID-19 Self-isolation Day 10 - Inside Outside

Well here’s no surprise when you think about it. I am the most calm and relaxed at home, because everything here is the same. Laundry is still here. Cleaning is still needed. Furniture is in the same spots. My little projects are the same.

When I go out, that’s different story. Everything has changed. Deserted streets. Nervous people if you see people. Everything is shut down. Anxiety inducing.

Sparks Street has a bit of a reputation for being Sparse Street. But no-one ever meant this. No-one ever imagined this.

65. COVID-19 Self-isolation day 9 - stimulus stagnate

The legislative bill that will magically unlock the extra government spending to support we Canadians who are now unexpectedly out of work and are fretting about our bills and our futures, has fallen victim to politicking.

I am boiling mad. I hope people who really count and whose voices really count are boiling mad as well. This is a situation where I expect all parties to swallow all the bitter pills they have to swallow and just get it done.

It is especially infuriating knowing that none of the politicians who are making these decisions will be particularly inconvenienced about covering THEIR rent or their mortgages. They are still on payroll, they have high salaries, savings, trust funds, wealthy families and friends.

C’mon boys. Figure this out or we will figure away to social distance while RIOTING in the streets.

What have we got to lose?

Later: I walked by parliament last night. I saw the lights on. I sent them good vibes. Looks like it worked as they reached a deal while I was sleeping.